- It's been a long, strange Trip for Chris Chance.his Unique, earthy Americana mixes rythmic, soulful guitar playing with poignant, relatable lyrics and spot on story telling.Catch him gigging Or hosting Songwriter Roundtables and open Mics around wV, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and beyond!SaturdaY 9/9 from 8-11 pmAmerican Legion Post 499Point marion, paSaturday 8/19 From 8-11 pmAmerican Legion Post 499Point marion, paSaturday 7/22 From 8-11 pmAmerican Legion Post 499Point marion, paSaturday 7/1 From 8-11 pm (Open Mic)American Legion Post 499Point marion, paSaturday 6/17 From 8-11 pmAmerican Legion Post 499Point marion, pa7 PM Wednesday 5/31Jacoby's Clarksburg, WvDowntown Clarksburg Gazebo (Bluebird)Friday 5/26 4:30 Pm(Open for Hillbilly Gypsies)7 PM Wednesday 5/17Jacoby's Clarksburg, Wv
Available for lyric work, hosting, and solo gigs!
Original Lyrics & Poetry
My Home Sweet Home 10/17
D G
Appalachian wild flowers
Riff to D
Purple white and gold
A
Let me tell a little story
D
One that never gets too old
G
I love my home
D
I love my kin
A
I love my sweet heart
D
I love my friends
G
West Virginia West Virginia
D
My home sweet home
A
West Virginia West Virginia
D
Good God I love my home
Mountain people lives and dreams
Sons and daughters men and wives
Glorious nature and big bright stars
Big old moon and a sweet sunrise
Find a home up in them hills
Where the bluegrass is serene
Let the rivers hum and sing
Just set a while in this scene
Time Square In the 70's 2/8/17
E A B7
Angled corners around another city scene
E A B7 E
Squealing sirens howl bursting at the seams
E...
Taxis and theaters neon lights of rain
Howling winter windsdissapearing down the drain
C#m F#m
Oh it looks real bleak do your begginC#mmake your please
C#m F#m . C#m
But don't you give up now you can find theG#mkeys
C#m F#m
No you don't have to live forever X3
A E
Down in Times Square in the 70's X3
E
Find a peaceful valley sleep out near the stream
Let it all unwindtry to see what I mean
E
42 nd & 7 th you can loose your kindBut way up in the mountainsYou'll have no axe to grindMisguided Sanctions 2/10/21
silk sails and paper planes
ice houses and tinfoil trains
misplaced notions and scattered gains
hidden roots and fainting flames
horizontal walls and melting tunes
banished futures and encrypted runes
untucked kings and shifting dunes
flatlined hills and golden booms
elastic bones and brittle beats
thwarted hearts and no repeats
unhinged fates and psychedelic feats
distorted memories and standing seats
hoarded codes and nuetral wands
faulty terminals and ill - fed ponds
spent intentions and rusty bonds
frayed collections and silent cons
italic brigades and morning moss
purple paegents and tulips tossed
purchased shade and crosswords crossed
leaderless armies and heated frost
Central Appalachian Spring Rain 3/1/ 17
G C
The rivers swell and they breach the road
C Am Am7 C D7
Mud banks they bare a heavy load
G C
The docks creak and rattle we watch them rock and roll
G D7 G
The clocks always going tickety tock
Hold on tightly to your fam
Maintain some freedom
Try to own your land
Keep your lovers and your loved ones close
Protect what you deam to matter most
C G
Central appalachian spring rain
C Am Am7
Hard dark and heavy
C Am Am7 D7
Give it 5 minutes things will change
C G
Take all your yesterdays and your yesteryears
C Am Am 7
Let em' be washed away
D7 G
As skies they clear
The seasons come the seasons go
Fields abound with life that grows
Many mountain rivers start with snow
That seek out just to find the valley below
Medicine Man 7/20/19
somewhere theres a medicine man
he's got all these answers in a coffee can
he's just waiting for you to arrive
inside the old can is a memory bag
he'd picked up once from an old sea hag
she'd been waiting for him to arise
he calls your name softly so you cant really rest
or decipher which direction might be best
just waiting for you to realize
That the drums beats loud for a reason
There's no such thing as a treason
You've got to ease on down the road real easy
You've got to stop and smell the roses
Before the door it closes
And that sun, It stops posing across the sky
if you reach the stone door by four
he already knows whats in store
nothing for him is a suprise
maybe shed a tear maybe crack a smile
find yourself dreaming on a country mile
he's just waiting for you to arrive
Beautiful Rain 8/15/17
C
You don't change my mind
You don't dismantle my day
You don't lead me astray
Or ever lie
You don't mend my thoughts
You don't alter my point of view
You don't demand a thing from me
Or ever sigh
Oh beautiful rain
Coming down on me
Beautiful rain
Fallin down on meAh Beautiful Rain
You don't make things wrong
You don't make things right
You don't bend things either way
Or ever pry
You don't stand me up
You don't sit me down
You don't rearrange a single thing
Or ever die
Oh beautiful rain...Grey (2015)
Is being happy about the familiar
All the things that you know
All the ting places
That you like to lay your head
The corners of your very soul
Above or Below
Above or Below
Will time heal all your worried bones
Both brolin and unbroken
The ones that leave spinnin round
Always swimming in a circle
Never having it just so
Above or Below
Above or Below
Grey is a strange color
Grey is a strange color
Where black and white never seem to fail
Nobody wears grey well
Can we answer all your broken transfers
Get you rollin on your way
Like the flower that grows upon the hillside
Sometimes in the storm you must sway
King Without A Crown (2019)
London Bridges fallin down
Evidence scattered on the ground
Bridge parts may be flying round
No you can't be a king without a crown
You can get lost
In this here town
You can surely
Get spun around
Your soul can get tossed
In the lost and found
But you can't be a king
Without a crown
Spinning on the ground
Like a merry go round
Sometimes you speak
But don't make a sound
Sometimes your up
Sometimes your down
But you can't be a King
Without a crown
Where Does It All Begin (2018)
And so,
Round and round we go
Where we will stop now
Nobody knows
Can you tell me
All the Stars that matter
How the sailors
Used those stars to get home
Maybe speak some
About tomorrow
Tell me something
That I should know
Even tho
The sun it rises
Another yesterday
Has come and gone
I know exactly
What it means to me
Do you know exactly
what it means to you
And So...
Solar systems
Big galaxies
All the county lines
Inside your state
Fences stretched out
Across the fields
In our minds
Where things exist
And so...
Mercury
Pluto, Los Angeles
Downtown Detroit
Could have it all
If each and every marble
Inside that jar
Tends to add up
To what they're worth
And so...
Round and round we go
Where we will stop now
Nobody knows
Spin Spin spin
Where does it all end
Spinn Spin Spin
Where does it all begin ?
The Lincoln Highway
There's no place left to rest
this flesh and this bone
there's nothing to talk about
on the telephone
Theres no place left that I can think
inside this Thunderdome
and I can't bare to wash these rags
upon the stone
Ain't no song to sing
that's never been sung
You can't clear that fear
from the bottoms of your lungs
It's all just another ladder
wrung after wrung
Till the hangman himself
he has been hung
There's no place left that a man can call his own
there's no place left to bury that bone
But out on the Lincoln Highway
the dreams roll one by one
like the shadow from your heart
this river it must run
now can't stop believing
till your tale It's been told
and your bones are old and cold
or the Lincoln Highway calls you home
Hanging like a loose tooth
another sailor in the wind
duck now target
bulletts flying round again
dog bark in the alley
another city siren spins
the lonely heart grows quiet
or it's ship comes in
There's no place left that a man can call his own
there's no place left to bury that bone
But out on the Lincoln Highway
the dreams roll one by one
like the shadow from your heart
this river it must run
now you can't stop believing
till your tale It's been told
or your bones are old and cold
and the Lincoln Highway calls you home
or the light to you it has been shown
or all your boulders turn to stone
or the Lincoln Highway calls you home
Let the Particles Flow 4/16/16
G
Well you come and you go
D
Like the wind and the rain
C
You carry all this anger
G
Carry all this pain
Always dreaming of that photo
Up in the old oak frame
On the stairs in the hallway
Where the world seemed much more sane
G Am
But you can't cry yourelf an ocean
G
Get lost inside and not deliver
Am Am7 D
So just breathe in and let it go
(riff) GLet the particles flow
Seems it's up or its down
Maybe round and round
Can you dance if theres no music
to a band that makes no sound
Please check then I'm still breathing
slowly rising with the sun
Reassure me I'm believing
w/ many miles still left to runPlausible Deniability 2022
Kings, queens and fat presidents
far removed from true evidence
can hardly grasp found reticence
or understand a clear hesitance
Birds, snakes nor kid elephants
won't be contained by any fence
or get lost in moments made intense
to dupe the masses with false pretense
In time one thing it must commence
that can't be denied by self defence
or casually displayed in the residence
as a method of useless continuance
Same for the CEO, senator and the prince
with titles of access minus any fingerprints
and their financiers hung with geo-elements
who still lie about their own prominence
So I cry out for a taste of real benevolence
as I sift through laughable fake dominance
and wade through the faceless syncophants
in hopes that I still yet, have a chance.Weather & Other Things 2022
you can say what you wantabout a man like me
battered and worn from
the Weather & Other Things
plenty of places for the lightto find it's way in
making certain
that anything can grow
feel free to steal away the night
as it falls like rain on somone else
when the morning strolls along
we'll salute it with fortitude
Way off somewherein the distance
I will sleep
And methodically dreamof things I love
In spite of the previously ignored
Now leaking damn
in spite of the burning mountains
inspite of the Weather and Other Things
Rolling Bones 10/9/11
A B B7 A
We'll drink until the bones they roll home
Bm7 A
We'll drink until the bones
E
they roll home they roll home
A E B
They roll Ho-me
Bm7 A E
Yeah well drink until the bones they roll home
they roll home
All alone no meat on the bone
We'll drink until the bones they roll home
They roll home
They roll Ho-me
Yeah well drink until the bonus they roll home
They roll home X2
When there ain't no store for the loan
We'll drink until the bones they roll home
They roll home
We'll drink all day we'll drink all right
We'll drink until the bones they roll home
They roll home
They roll Ho-me
Yeah well drink until the bonus they roll home
They roll home X2
They Twinkle For You 11/9/19
D A7
When I'm dreaming in the deep dark night
D D7
Darling I'm dreaming of you
D At
When I'm dreaming deep asleep at night
D D7
I'm dreaming for two
G Bm
Cuz it's your sweet love
G A
that pulls me thru
Bm G A
and when the stars twinkle
G D
they twinkle for you
If I'm twisted
Tangled up like the jungle
I'm still thinking about you
If the goal is right there
let's not stumble
Let's feel it pure and true
Hear me my Love the words that I sing
I sing them for you
Hear the bells that ring
They're ringing for you
Trouble and Time 9/10/16
D A
When you love a lady but she proves to be a
D
ghost
G A G
And it's a fuckin shame because you loved her
D
the most
D A D
When all that you want is aIl that once was
G A G D
But that's buried in rubble now it's got wings that won't buzz
D A G
There's highways and diamonds, reefer and
D
wine
D G A G D
skyways and shaman trouble and time (x2)
Leap from the building to fly like a bird
It's lonely in flight there are few sounds to be heard
so I curl bend my knees dream more than I should.
I dust off the alleys at night in your neighborhood
There's highways and diamonds, reefer and wine
There's skyways and shaman trouble and time (x2)
Don't mix the numbers but do mix the sounds
Life it's better when you've come around
Life it's better when you've come around
Sleep through the day, prowl through the night
Called out you're name when I lost my sight
Reach for the apex, call to the wild
I I earn from the aged to smile like a child
My Own Way Home 2019
Em Riffs
I come and I go
I'm warm and I'm cold
I'm high and I'm low
I'm bought and I'm sold
Riff to D C7
But I'm still here
Riff to Em
and able to find my own way home
Em Riff to D
La da da da da da da la da da da da da
I breathe in and roll
I check and I fold
I cast and I toll
I'm meek and I'm bold
Riff to D C7 to D
But I'm still here and able to find my own w my home
D Em D
lada da da da da da la da da da da da
I swing and I'm swung
I'm ignored and I'm wrung
I'm spaced and I'm Jung
I'm speechless and a tounge
The Royalty of Nassau County 1/01/23
106 / 107
135 & 110
out to Little Neck Parkway
& Planeview once again
Another foriegn logo
Fat cat, line cutting whale
From New Hyde Park or Roslyn
Then east to Farmingdale
Royalty of Nassau County no, they can't be wrong
Moving through life like tiny, blind King Kongs
Hurry, hustle, push just to move their dial along
Never seeming to recognize, the clang of their own gong
But they sing loudly to that old classic rock song
About drinking, love or lust and raging all night long
Though never, ever quiet sure just where they belong
They know & howl each lyric to every favorite song
4 + 4 is 9 all day long
3 + 3 is 7 sing that song
2 + 2 is 5 just can't be wrong
1 + 1 is 3 clang the gong
105 or 25B
Lake Success &
The Meadowbrook near Westbury
The Wantaugh south off towards the sea
Sly, no remorse & abrasive
Loud, lost and obtuse
From Glen Cove to the shores - Jones Beach
They're all out on the looseNot What It Seemed (2005)
B E BTear it down after you built itB F# E BTear it down after you built itF# E BAfter you built it tear it downMop it up after you spilt itMop it up after you spilt itAfter you spilt it mop it upE B F#After you're gone someone else they can lift itE F# BAfter you're qonce it's no longer your dreamAfter your gone someone else they can drift itAfter you've gone it ain't what it seemedSwallow it down after you drank itSwallow it down after you drank itAfter you drank it swallow it downChase it around once you have found itChase it around once you have found itAfter you've found it chase it aroundFar From a Saint 7/26/2023
She might not be a devil but she's far from a saint
She mixes in with the colors before stirs the paint
Often misinterpreted as something she just ain't
tho you find her in the hot sun swearing she might faint
Miss Liza Jane Oh Liza Jane
Strutting down the empty lane
Never quite acts the same
She sings her name, Ohhh Oh - Liza Jane
Miss Liza Jane
Miss Liza Jane
Maybe not a devil
Maybe not a saint
Maybe not a devil
Maybe not a saint
Beacons in the dark
Intentions bathed in gold
Moments on the shiny slope
Miss Liza Jane
Not a devil
Liza Jane
Not a saint
Liza Jane
Miss Liza JaneNew
XYZ
New
XYZ
My Take on songwriting
" It's definitely not easy!" ~ CC
"Inspiration becomes something to be shaped the way one shapes clay but never, ever, ever baked in the kiln until the time is appropriate"
Chris Chance"Where "it" as in the catylst to create lyrics or write songs, where that comes from, is tough to say. It's as if there is an existing current out there, one that is always there but can't always be seen or accessed. Then at times, bam, there it is. It can be seen, and not only seen for the moment, but wildly rode upon!"
Chris ChanceContact / Book
Or Just Reach Out!
The Couple (A Short Story)
It had to be easy, she said. He wasn't quite sure. Either way. The two of them were about to find out, and quickly.
If you just put this here, and then lift this and turn it like this, or maybe twist it this way. Then, he asked? Then, she said sarcastically snapping back, you slowly pull right here and I think it should work.
What makes you think so, he said? Well, just from looking at it, she replied. I'm looking at it too and I don't see that, he said.
Does us being able to make this thing work right again even matter? I mean, does it matter that we're the ones to do it, he asked? Couldn't we just call a repairman and wait it out?
You know, do without for a while. That's all you ever want to do is wait or pass the buck, she said. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
One day you're going to be waiting and realize there ain't nothing left to wait for. Wait a minute he replied, I'm not saying to shirk it all together. I'm just saying maybe somebody more qualified than you and I at this point in our lives could handle this matter for us.
Even if it costs us a few bucks, he went on. Jiminy Christmas, if it isn't waiting with you, it's let's spend our money to fix it. That's the problem with our culture today.
There is no true self-sufficiency any more. Where just so reliant on 10 companies to take care of us in exchange for a huge portion of our wages, she scoffs. 100 years ago, She continued, you would have to get yourself up on your roof and patch it if it had a hole. If you chose to wait and have your neighbor do it for you, you'd have water dripping in your eye while you slept at night.
Well, 100 years ago we wouldn't even have one of these damn things. We certainly wouldn't be arguing about whether it can be fixed by us or not?
Would we?
By the way he said undisputedly, 100 years ago on a Saturday, we’d be down by the lake sipping lemonade and discussing the latest polio vaccine. 100 years ago, she said. I'd have found myself a lovely and articulate aristocrat that doesn't have a silly mustache like the one you have on your face right now. He'd be my husband and we would have a mansion on an estate in the country.
Believe me you, she said accusatorily, this gentleman would one hundred percent- know how to treat a lady. He smiled. Okay, Okay so now this is about me not knowing how to treat a lady, or you - in particular being said lady.
She didn't look up, but continued on never missing a single beat. That's right buddy boy and don't you forget it. I see, I see, and how is it you think muh lady should be treated, Missy?
A lady should be treated like a fine piece of heavily cultured, expensive art. As if she were a valuable gemstone. Something you admire and protect.
So something I should hang on the wall and look at, maybe dust occasionally? Perhaps something I might put in a jewelry box that only sees the light of the day a few times a year. An object that I hope appreciates in valve over time?
That's not what I meant at all, she said and you know what I mean? But, do I know what you really mean, because we've been together for 17 years and I'm not sure, he wondered. His brain wandered further, there are times you say things and I am completely baffled.
In those moments, I have to consciously make an effort to not let my head shake back and forth. Literally bite my tounge not to tisc at you. Tisc, tisc, tisc, she said.
Hand me that, will you? Now, put your finger right here and hold this, this way. So we're really gonna do this, he asked? Bet your bippy we’re gonna. On this now, one, two, three!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, he belted out deeply. Wait a minute. Did you look at this right here?
If it, if this comes across this way and this slides down. This isn't going to work. If it did, it isn't going to last, is it?
I did not see that, she let out. I didn't either until just now. Let's think a minute.
Oh heck. What are we going to do now? He could sense her frustration setting in.
I don't really know yet, he said, 100 years ago, we wouldn't even have this damn machine. Always with the clippie smart ass remarks she quipped. Always with the clippie judgment, he quickly retorted.
They were once again at an impasse. We're never going to get this to work are we, she asked softly? Not likely, was his response.
My guess is it would take a professional to fix this one, he said. My guess is it would take a professional to fix us, she said.
Thank you, and here we go again. Do we really need fixing? Are we really that broke?
Is our life so damn bad? Or is it more that parts of who we are just not what was expected. That in many ways we’ve failed but we haven't completely broke.
Life isn't turning out the way we thought it might. It doesn't resemble how we thought it should be, yet here we are. Struggling mightily against the tides associated with this hectic stage of our life.
With all this responsibility and all those responsibilities and all these responsibilities. Treading water in all conditions and at all hours of the clock in an effort to figure it all out. How did we even get here?
Why didn't the story end up the way we planned or thought it would? However are we going to get wherever the hell it is that we're inevitably headed. How?
Well is that all, she said? Yes, that's all. How do we figure all that crap out she questioned?
One layer at a time, he replied stating, whether we fix this damn thing or not. Sigh, this damn thing.
Come over here, she said. Put your arms around me. Oh, he said, you want me to come over there and put my arms around you, huh?
Even if you've and this damned thing have pissed me off its still my favorite place to be. So, what do you say? What do I say, he smoothly replied.
Well, I guess I don't have anything to say. I just have to get these feet moving in your direction right now, don't I? Feet, lets go, he commanded.
I always love it when your nose gently brushes mine. Oh, watch my foot, please, she ordered, moving hers to the right. He obliged, shifting all his weight in the other direction.
I love your hugs and kisses she whispered soft and lovingly. I love you, he said. I love you too she said smiling.
They'd been in the home. 14 years already, she thought to herself. Always amazed at how quickly 14 years can pass, but at times 14 minutes can drag on like the life of the sun.
The meadow behind the house where she currently sat was subtle but extraordinary. Tall, swaying grass with patches of the most beautiful wild flowers all summer long. The meadow itself, extends out to the edge of the property.
The field is made complete by the majestic backdrop of the mountains. It was a gorgeous view. One you couldn't help but gaze at no matter how many times you'd seen it before.
On the other side of the property, when first coming off the county road and onto our land you had to drive up a long crooked path. The path wound through white birch trees and both white and scrub pine shrubs. You can hear the gravel rumbling under your vehicle as you head up the drive towards the house.
In short order, the wooded area opens up to a grand million dollar view. The gravel path from the road, becomes a full circle leading up to the house. The house itself was a massive natural wood cabin.
It was exquisitely built with high quality timber and ample glare free, large glass windows. The mailbox itself. It was a scaled replica of the actual cabin we lived in gifted to us on moving day from an uncle who's hobby it is to build those types of things.
I'd fallen in love with the place instantly upon first arrival. There were forsythia and burning bushes inside the driveway circle along with a few benches and a gazebo made of natural wood collected from the surrounding area. It had a working, small spitting fish fountain next to it.
There was a second fountain where water poured out of a old tin coffee pot, the kind you'd hang over a fire on a tripod. I just love to buy unique pieces I find from local craft makers.
Off to the left of the house were two outbuildings. The first a large barn, where they once kept horses and now was currently occupied by two fonts and some free range chickens.
It's exactly the kind of old barn you're picturing in your mind. Wide swinging double doors as an entrance to a big first floor spatial area with stalls. It had the feel if something quality built, back when that sort of thing mattered to a builder over cost.
It had a big hay loft with a sturdy home made oak ladder. Just like the kind you'd see in an old western movie or a Little House on the Prairie rerun. Inside the barn on the right wall was a large painting of the logo and brand of the family ranch that once existed on the property.
It's true, once upon a time this property was an old cattle ranch and it still showed the character of such a place if you looked. A ranch and a family that had survived honest to God trial by fire. Truly at the mercy of the land.
Season after season. Torrential storm after storm. Bitter snow, after bitter snow. They must have been a real tough breed to make it out here back then, that's for sure.
The other building was about half the size of the barn. Just as the barn, it was made of what has now become expensive, reclaimed wood. Should it be knocked down and sold?
It's now essentially a storage and supply closet. A large shed, if you will. One pretty full at the moment.
The back wall held old, rusted iron hooks. From those hooks hung variety of old ranching and farming tools that conveyed with the place. likely they're from the earlier part of the 20th century.
Beyond the outbuildings was the main pasture. A pasture connected to seven other pastures just perfect for grazing. They including streams and open grass fields where the huge herds of cattle once grazed.
When we first moved in here, we used to ride through the connecting pastures. I'd always imagined the cowboys moving the cattle from pasture to pasture based on circumstances. So many variables to cover in protecting such an investment.
Heavy rain? Push them to the higher pastures. Keep them dry and fed.
Frigid temps? Push them to the lower pastures, whichever was required by the situation. Situations that kept coming and coming.
The seven pastures on the property wove in between the ridges and mountains. The fences nowadays were not nearly as secure as they once may have been. It's been years since either one of us has rode out to those far out pastures or anything beyond the main pasture really.
In front of the house itself was well kept shrubbery in perfectly laid mulch. The shrub beds were accented with red brick borders and various kinds of earth tone stones laid out perfectly. I like it to you know, look just so.
The stairs leading up to the deck and front door were sturdy and deep. The railings hanging crafted, clearly exquisite. The fifth step lead to the front porch.
It was a wide, deep wrap around porch that held multiple chairs and lounging swings. The outer door, had recently been stained and the screens replaced. The handle was make of brass that could use a cleaning. Behind it, a large heavy oak door, once painted in red, now sanded and stained to match the base decor.
The home's exterior had a doorbell that lit up and chimed when you pressed it. It also had an old school heavy knocker. Inside the house, the foyer held muck boots and work boots. Also some slide on shoes and umbrellas.
Hooks held Carhartt jackets and cardigan sweaters and windproof or rain protective jackets. All the things you need to live in this environment year round. The main room itself sunk down three steps and had a central fireplace with high vaulted ceilings.
The couches were comfortable, but the best place to sit was in the two old library chairs to the side of the fireplace. We'd found them at an old antique auction. That had to be back at least twelve years ago. The couches were a dark suede tan color a nd the the the pillows were a maroon that closely matched the upholstery on the comfy library chairs that we just love to sit in.
Near the stairs off to the left was the kitchen? A six burner gas stove. All stainless steel appliances.
A new commercial stove exhaust fan helped to draw out any smoke or bad air that we don't want in the kitchen. The kitchen had a large island with a piece of wood on top that you can cut just about anything on with the sharpest knife in the world, even maybe a samurai sword. It was definitely the kind of kitchen that made you feel warm and whole when filled with good smells on a sunday morning with the newspaper scattered across the island or the table.
Off the kitchen was a small study. We used it as a library because one whole wall was just custom bookshelves. They were filled with everything from cIassic old literature to Hemingway and Kerouac. From the poets to the great linguistics of the victorian era.
It had it all from the ramblings of kings to those of Hunter S. Thompson. Off the living room on the other side of the kitchen was a mud room that led to a side door and out to the backyard.
A long stretch of green grass led up to an old fence that separated the yard from the wildflower meadow. There was a gate in the back of the yard for when you wanted to leave walk amongst the flowers and prairie grasses. Some of the best afternoons of the last decade was spent casually strolling, palms down, the flora gently brushing against my fingertips, thinking and dreaming.There was a large old log from a tree that once stood in the field for years. You could just lay on it for hours and feel as if you'd become part of the landscape itself. Just another piece of tall grass waving in the breeze.
The second floor of the cabin home held a bedroom and a master suite, the broad upstairs hallway was also a balcony overlooking the great room below on the first floor. There were two skylights above that great room. Both made of gorgeous stained glass encased inside a plexiglass safety covering.
The staired glass not only added a unique hue to the light but an interesting perspective to look outside and towards the sun itself. They're absolutely one of my most favored features of the house itself.
The master bedroom had its own bath with a large tub and a multi jet shower that also function as a steam room. Yet another favorite place to be in this house when the situation called for it.
Our bed frame was made of local wood that was chopped, made into boards craftily put together right here in our own county. That's one gorgeous piece of furniture, and the tempurpedic mattress on top made it an ultimate nesting spot for sleeping and napping. We used to nap. Well, I guess they weren't really naps, but you understand what I mean?
Hopefully the time comes that we'll get back to napping regularly. On the balcony wall next to on the stairs leading down to the first floor were pictures of us on our wedding day. Our wedding party group. All those fantastic poses.
Super hot looks and hair do's. It's amazing how fast time flies. How quickly we changed but most importantly. How we maximized those days. I have the pictures as evidence of our attempts to enjoy our lives.
Have you seen it yet she quipped? Which "it" is it that you are specifically referring to, he asked? He knew that would get her goat.
Oh, you know darn well exactly which "it” I'm talking about. So I'll ask you again, mister, have you seen it yet or not? It's a yes or no question.
Yes, I've seen it. I've seen it all right but you already knew that I saw it, didn't you? On top of that, you already know exactly what I think about it too.
She went on, you’re also quite certain what I'm going to say about it - if you force me to discuss it at this very moment. Which, I'm not going too. I will later, but I won't now.
So, you're going to “take care of it” then? Of course, but as I just said, not right now, he said, absolutely not. He was firm about it.
As usual, and of course. I will take care of it he barely mumbled. To which she replied, when you get to it, right? All he could do was look at her, his mouth open and his eyes incredulously wide.
Well, exactly, that's correct, when I get to it. Isn’t that how anybody, gets anything done. Doing it when they actually get to it.
So, what exactly will you be doing that's so important today, he asked her. Well, she pondered, I've got my list of things to do. Including errands, video conferences and research projects piled up.
Things for the house. Things for the paycheck. One or two things, maybe even for you.
For me, huh? You don't say? Coyly she replied, did I say that?
Well, don't get all excited, she cautioned him. One is picking up your new suit for your uncles retirement party and the other is a very, very small, small thing. Well, he said, small things can be big things, too.
True, she said, but this is not big. It's small, like I just said. Well, he said, maybe you could turn it into a big thing.
You know, take a small thing, make it a bigger thing. Make it a grander thing? To which she replied, maybe, but probably not.
Hey, one can try, right? Then he said, hey, can you do me a favor, please? After its been used, can you just set aside the cast iron pan and let me take care of cleaning it.
Oh geez, here we go again with the cast iron pan. Well, they work a certain way and I've been saying this from our beginning. Let me just handle it, he quipped.
You and you YouTube cooking videos. Cooking videos have nothing to do with how you take care of a cast iron pan. Oh, that's right, you have to let it choose a season, she said.
No, you don't let it choose a season, don't be ridiculous, you make sure the pan itself is seasoned. It's that nice coat I always show you when we cook in it. Well, when you cook on it, she volleyed.
Following that up with, I never use that thing. Well, you certainly eat the food that comes out of it now, don't you, he asked. Those steaks were pretty good last night, I'll give you that.
The brownies, too. I'm always skeptical when you make brownies in that old, heavy pan, she said. Damn, but they always taste really good she thought to herself.
Of course they taste good, he replied. They're made in the mighty cast iron, with love. Love, she said, me thinks they're made in a factory with chemicals. To which he responded, you my dear, are most definitely made in a factory with chemicals.
To which she sniped, why don't you just bite me? He waited a good three or four seconds before he said anything, and then he responded. Where exactly would you like to be bitten?
This guy never gives up she thought in a flash. Then she noted that was a good trait for him to have for sure. She stood up, turned around, bent over and smacked her back pocket with her palm.
She laughed, wouldn't you like to kiss it right here buddy boy. He couldn't deny she still looked good. Adjusting his belt he looked the other way.
Maybe, if your lucky. He asked her, what is on your agenda after work? Well, I'm going to run my errands, hit the market, and come home.
How about you she inquired? I'll be here, he declared. How about seasonal cocktails?
I can make some of those ribs that are in the in the fridge, he added. Maybe, we could watch a movie he asked with his voice rising in pitch. A movie, she said, you're not going to make me watch Moneyball again for heavens sake are you?
I promise, I will not. It's your choice tonight. You make the executive decision, as long as its not Chocolat or The Piano.
It's my choice tonight? How about I choose a few things for you to do for me? This could be fun he thought somewhat entertained by the notion.
She continued, I'd have you start with all of the laundry. Then, cleaning and scrubbing in and around, then behind the toilets. He dove in head first saying, well, if we're choosing things for the other to do for ourselves, I've got a few things you might be able to manage pretty high up on my list.
To which she retorted with an evil smile, I'm sure you do but Iet's keep this PG for now if you'll oblige. As he walked off, he noted that, she'd used the phrase, for now. That was a statement with possibility.
Like a beacon he heard and like a lost magnet he was drawn to the thought of their "later”. He thought about her. He thought about himself.
He thought about them together. He thought about how they used to be. How they were before they were an "us" or a "them” or a "we".
Delving deeper, he considered about how they became to be a couple in the first place. How they had been and how both she and he acted at the beginning of their time together. What she was like and what they meant to each other during the middle of their relationship and how they'd become the modern versions of themselves, the ones that they were now.
When he was done thinking about all that. He began to think about "Iater” on that evening with her. He was still eager for nights such as this one proposed to be.
While he drifted, she had stayed cozy in the same library chair she'd been sitting in for an hour with her feet stretched out before her on the leather ottoman. Remember, the library chairs in the great room? She'd been thumbing the pages of her book while contemplating something completely different than what was happening in the book she held.
She thought about this morning when he was brushing his average teeth and gargling his store brand antiseptic mouthwash.
She could see him in her mind preparing to start his day. She thought about his varied routines. How rhythmic they were and how those machinations, over time, had somehow become a comfort to her.
Though never quite able to establish those train station like routines for herself, she respected them. She thought about how consistent he was overall as a human. How she not only admired that about him but loved him deeply for it.
She’d also become envious of that sort of super power, one in which she did not posses. He certainly was a rock. She thought about their "later” just as he had and after putting her book down and taking a sip of her coffee she headed upstairs.
Upstairs, She bee lined straight for her lingerie closet seeking potential. There was hope for later to be special, which meant she herself had a little hope in her pocket. Soon, when the day was done, their night could begin.
The first time I had set eyes on the place, he thought, I was in a Cessna 182 that a buddy or some kind of relative of the relator had owned and flown for various purposes, he said. Either way, what an amazing sight to behold. Frankly, I'd never seen anything like it before, not having spent to much time in these parts before relocating.
I knew instantly that she'd love it as much or more than anybody would, could or should. I was certain of that. To be honest, it wasn't much of a reach at all.
That day, up in the sky, I witnessed a color blue I'd never seen before. I took it all in from above. My flying perch offered the type of view that made painters want to paint, sculptors want to sculpt and forced the pens of honest poets too ponder eloquent words capable of fitting the meter.
I remember thinking what an amazing occurrence that a place that looks live this exists in the vastness of what me know as space.
The Cessna was a four seater, and the three of us flew straight over the property through calm skies. You could see, against the natural landscape, the Iong county road that the property resided on.
Between the road and the house was a large thicket of trees and shrubs that buffered the home from the road itself. Flying over, the house on the open landscape just looked small in size. The driveway up from the county road led to a circle at which 12:00 o'clock was the porch steps to the homes front door.
You could see a few buildings off to the side of the main house and what looked to be a large fenced in yard area that had a creek to one side. It all led out to either some flowered fields or old cattle pastures. Everything, in every direction butted up against the base of the mountains.
It was truly a majestic sight to see from the air. A bird's eye view offers an unparalleled perspective as you know. From the sky, you get a comprehensive snapshot encompassing far more you could ever take in standing with your own two feet on the ground.
The plane took a pass then looped safely around a Iarge mountain I couldn't quite catch the name of. It flew down across the valley and back over the property a second time from a different direction.I could have stayed up there forever. Before we landed back to the airport I could see myself living there. It was a beautiful place. The realtor said it had once been a thriving cattle ranch.
I thought I loved it, and although she had not seen it yet, I believed she loved it already too sight unseen. It was 15 years ago now since that day. I know that fly over cost me pretty penny but it was well worth it.
Standing here, in this house, in this huge room Iooking out this massive picture window at the land that I now lived on was absolutely one of my favorite places to be. Especially with a warm drink in my hand or a warm, hazy feeling in my head. Whoever built this room knew exactly what they were doing.
Not only are the views tremendous but the central fireplace radiates heat in every direction. It really keep our home warm against the wind. It just had a homey feeling here from the get go.
Something resonated deeply reminiscent of a time long ago. A moment in time. Perhaps one that you just couldn't no longer put your finger on or grasp anymore.
The kitchen here is modern and we produce some pretty darn good meals in there. I always like the old barn off to the side of the house here too. Maybe one day we'll actually put horses back into it and our way back to riding them. pasture to pasture again.
He remembered the way they did that when they had first got here. He began to hear her rumbling around in the study. Most likely digging through books of ancient architecture, to help her with her research.
As she says, I'm making sure the paychecks keep coming in. Two incomes is oh so much better than one, he thought to himself briefly wondering exactly what she might want to have for dinner tonight. Then naturally, he pondered if it would coincide with something that he was feeling.
It's funny how we choose what we eat for dinner. Every day, day after day with food choices. We always like to choose early, to be able to plan it out.
We choose to think things through as opposed to finding ourselves standing in the kitchen feeling really hungry and wondering what it is we're going to eat? Besides the ribs, I had a whole chicken defrosted in the refrigerator. I also had all the goods to make a hearty lasagna.
Hopefully we'll land on one of those choices. Thinking only time will tell, he shifted gears. Taking another slow long look at he landscape he finished his coffee, rinsed the cup and after he put it away, began to climb the stairs.
Past the pictures that he looked at every time he switched floors. He didn't so much look at himself or her, as lovely as she was that day, but at their friends. It was their expressions that grabbed him.
The way they held hands or had their arms around one another was priceless. Those pictures embody the vibe that existed for all in attendance that day. One of palpable community and love.
Graciously, it came with the confidence of moving in a direction that you trusted explicitly. He started beyond the photos to the top of the landing. Sitting on the bench to take off his boots.
Placing them in the long row of other shoes, he moved into the bedroom to change his clothes. He stopped to admire the bed frame made by a local carpenter with local resources. Then he chose the proper attire for the activities that this part of his day would bring.
Searching through his closet, he smiled while Iooking at a specific garment that he worn a few months ago. It was on a big night out together that they'd had downtown. Was a nice night, he remembered.
I don't know, but the company was tremendous. The steaks were phenomenal and the wine, although expensive, flowed the way spring streams do in heavy rains.
He stopped to recognize that he always loved nights like that. That break away from the day-to-day. Putting you in spectacular fashion, right smack in the middle of everything that's fun and interesting.
His twenties had been fun, not just fun but fun and interesting. Epic, actually. That decade had culminated with what was his first marriage and a kingdom built but lost.
Although that relationship ended badly, it started beautifully and with tremendous possibilities. He thought about that from time to time. He'd recall they were engaged in a relationship at that point that nobody was ready for.
He'd learned what a slippery sIope they had been on with both of them still hanging on to situationally incorrect philosophies. Mostly outdated ideals, and mantras collected from individual worlds. The remnants of a 1970's and 1980's upbringing, to much TV and uproarious teenage years that didn't match dual income parenting in a major metropolitan area.
It was ultimately doomed for failure. After the divorce, the rest of his 30’s were spent holding on for dear life by just a single fingernail. Luckily I did hold on, he mumbled inaudibly.
We both made the conscious decision to search again and again for a new reality. A new self, one defined by current situations not haunting memories or old wounds and faded but ever present scars. We’d at a minimum each decided on or wavelengths, and on our own terms to keep growing.
Not being led by yesterday. Not led around and around in circles trying to follow incorrect Iessons embedded deep in our brains a long, long time ago. Instead being led by our experience and our oh so hungry hearts.
She was sprawled out at the opposite end of the couch from me all squirreled up in a cozy blanket. I'd finished the business section, the sports section and was tinkering with the crosswords.
Just then she started to rustle from her brief fake nap. Without a word, I watched her get up slide her feet into her slippers and move off to the kitchen. I could here some clanking and rattling around.
When she came back she placed a cup of green tea on coffee table in front of us. Choosing to now sit just a few inches away from me on the couch she whispered, sometimes it's just so hard for me to grasp days of doing nothing on the weekend.
Well heck, I'll take any time away from work to unplug and be me that I can get, he replied. You're always able to shut it off so quickly, she answered. So happy to just do nothing, it just drives me crazy.He looked at her lovingly but inquisitively. Maybe, that's something you should talk to a pro about. What's that exactly, she asked?
Your need to constantly be on the go and never for a moment, choose to sit with yourself? She thought for a second and then said, who wants to sit with themselves? To which he retorted, some people, that’s who.
Human beings are rarely asked to learn to sit with themselves. To be alone. To simply exist.
To not be fused to tech or electronically driven input, distracting activity or pointless drama. To just sit. To think.
To breathe deeply. To be what they are in the moment, as opposed to say, what they were when they were 13 or 33 years old. To be what they are right then and there in the now.
Purposefully thinking about what needs to be thought about right then and there. Finding thoughts, notions and ideas that may mold what's to come. There is great valve in a version of consciousness that will matter more to your existence. Equally important he added, is letting those thoughts find you.
Every time you find yourself way over here doing this or that or this or that to stay busy or way over here doing this or going there again. Even when your right there, literally right there doing this and this and this and this and this, your cheating your mind's ability to find its way to the thought that it needs to be having. Cheating might be a strong word, he admitted.
It does appear that when not occupying your thoughts with tasks and to-do lists the thoughts that you may then find, or the ones that can now find you - actually help you become more centered with who you are. They can steer your life in a direction more according with your real beliefs, opinions, and views.
Possibly creating for ourselves, a more unique, on point and a move viable thought process. One far different and most likely opposed to the programming we're all constantly bombarded with since we're born. It's a choice you see?
Oh, she saw it. He's following the Dali Llama on twitter and reading Eckhart Tolle again. I never understood the whole "in the now" thing, isn't it all "in the now" she wondered.
She never liked to sit with her thoughts. She didn't like to peruse and prod at her childhood. Nor did she choose to examine the way she felt about the way her classmates had acted or how she had interacted with them.
The absolute last thing she wanted to do was wade into was the way her parents and siblings behaved or in some cases, didn't behave at all. The way she pushed and pulled with her siblings in a battle for who knows what - in a household full of conundrums now seemed so absurd. She didn't want to sit with the thought of any of it.
She chose not to chew on family. She chose not to swim with politics or what they could mean to a culture or society? These were her choices.
She knew that she wanted to avoid morbid contemplation of her past. She certainly did not want to be embroiled in it's affect on her current roller coastering disposition. She things she believed she knew to be true.
Her way to cope. After all it was her life. Wasn’t it?
In order to manage all of it being that she could not truly make sense of any of it, she strictly choose what would occupy her mind at any given moment. So logically, staying busy became not only her shield, but it was one hundred percent her sword as well. When she found a cause, or an arena to wield that sword, she did.
Believe you me, it was sharp and lethal. When it came out she showed no fear. None.
Sure she had trauma, who didn't? Everything was so picked and pulled apart these days with therapy and analysis that just never stops.
Analysis, analysis analysis, whatever happened to just getting things done? Just doing things and not wallowing in all the things that went wrong in life. We're constantly focusing on all the things we don't like about ourselves.
What good does it do? We all wish we could change, but we never do. She quietly thought about all these things while he continued on.
Without knowing who we are, how can we be at peace, he asked her? Without knowing who we are, how can we be at peace, she mimicked. I'm at peace when I'm getting things done.
Chipping away at my to-do list. Crossing tasks off the board. Finishing projects that make me money.
That's where I'm at peace. That's where I feel best. Simply where I'm most comfortable, she said.
But is it peace? Is it? Are you really comfortable or are you just in a semi - sedated state of distraction and denial of your existence in this unexplainable cacophony of experience.
She loved how smart he was. How his eyes sparkled when he talked about things he believed were of the utmost importance. How he cared about her and her mental health even if half the time she didn't know how to or just blatantly refused to wrap her intelligent mind around his theories.
Making menial decisions over this thing or that thing that you can accomplish. Does finding pegs you can force into their specific holes really make you happy? What happens when all of those things stop and it's time to just sit?
Some people can just sit. Others even need to make to do lists relative to entertainment on their day off on a Saturday and a Sunday, he lectured, without trying to sound like he was lecturing.
Oh, she's said, being alive is such an intricate process. How would one ever know which is the right way to think or if they're drowning in the wrong way to think. With eight billion minds on the planet at one time, very few existing past eighty years, who's to say which way of thinking is correct?
How does one know if one path over another is better? How do we tell if it's more pertinent to stay in the hive mentality. Is that the way to move society around this globe with a buzzing command over capital and innovation?
Is the world better off going away from that style of living? Should we steer the barge towards an independent individualism? People, being themselves doing their own things, staying out of other people business.
People staying more out of politics then they already do? Fending for themselves and patching their own roofs, growing their own foods, sourcing their own water. Generating their own power.
It's been done before. It can be done again. However, if you go down the road of distraction and denial with your lips on the teet of the man its almost a guarantee your last days will be filled with regret.
It's just the way it is, he said. She said, or maybe it just isn't the way it is. He smiled at her and kissed her forehead.
She put her hand on his left thigh. He put his hand over hers and they tilted their heads together, both smiling. Knowing that in all of the confusion and the combustion of being alive in this day and age they, at the moment were content on the couch together.
It was later that sunday night and she sat on the back swing watching the moon climb the ridge line and prepare to launch itself across the sky. She fretted just a touch about their conversation that morning. She couldn't help but think about what not only wound folks up, but legit kept them content and moving forward?
He always prefaced these conversation with acknowledgement that his life too, was a work in progress. A challenge as he put it. One to be sure, of great magnitude.
Yesterday, She thought to herself - her hands warm against the still steaming night time tea in her cup, our day began early. Dang, my days always start early. She couldn't help but yawn.
I've never been a good sleeper, she whispered out loud to know one. For as long as I could remember, she thought, I've never gotten more than a few restless hours of real sIeep. She felt tired.
Then after tossing and turning, upon waking, she'd immediately transitioned into the endless motions of fending off the day. Often, right to the mood enhancing music and beverages. She did love her earbuds and coffee.
How does he stay so grounded? Maybe the better question is he really that grounded at all? Maybe he was full of it and should be nominated for an award?
All great questions, she concluded in her mind. His upbringing was on paper better then hers with a teacher and a librarian for parents but spotty nonetheless. She'd heard plenty of stories over the years of questionable antics and borderline ethics violations.
Perhaps he was as lost as the rest of us and wasting his own potential? A negative byproduct of a new age train of thought that allowed one to shirk inclusion in the everyday mania of our present day. It was possible?
It would be sad to come to a realization that the partner you've been dancing around in your mind with all these years didn't really exist, she thought. Immediately she remembered she was glad he danced either way. She needed a man who's mind could dance and not just regurgitate what she said or spouted what he thought she needed to here.
Even if some days, that bite could hurt, she preferred it that way. She liked to be up on her toes like a boxer ready for anything.
Anything that kept her mind agile she always told herself. All the while knowing her overactivity existed to keep other darker more discombobulating thought trains far off at a distance. Safer that way she'd always thought, until she met him, she said out loud to herself.
After all, he was thinking his way through the minutia and albeit at times his thesis became somewhat far fetched, he was kind, and possibly brilliant. She was happy they were together. She was happy they loved one another.
The moon has risen in the sky well above the horizon. Almost full, it totally lit up the walk back to the house.
She hummed an old tune. One that she remembered her father saying was from something called the British invasion when she was a kid. She’d thought how funny it is to know a song so well but not know its title or the name of the artist.
Who created or performed it? Life is funny with little intricacies like that she thought feeling the cool night air on her suntanned skin. The grass underneath her feet.
She continued to walk amongst the wildflowers. She casually drifted along a heading that led back towards the gate to the yard. When she got to the gate and lifted the latch, she realized the latch itself was broken.
Soon it might even be almost hanging off. It would certainly need repair in order to make sure the gate lasted and stayed balanced. She made a halfhearted attempt to fix it herself there on the spot.
Using her trusted pocket knife as a screwdriver she attempted to reattach the metal bracket to the wooden post, but to no avail. Passing through the gate, she made sure it was secure, the best she could. Walking back to the house that old rock n' roll song came back in her head.
She couldn't help but hum and whistle a little bit. Maybe even bob her head some. She took a 360 degree spin or two for good measure. After all, nobody was watching.
It really was a nice night. She really did live a good life. True as that may be, she still had some more research to do before bed.
There were still a couple of other tasks on her list. Sleep had become a non -priority. The consequence of that Choice was constant fatigue bordering On what articles were calling American exhaustion.
Heading back inside the house she passed through the kitchen and down into the great room and stopped. Pivoting quickly in one step, she returned back into the kitchen for a bottle of red wine. No, she changed her mind and decided white.
She'd go with the white. She poured herself a glass, put the bottle back in the wine fridge. After that, she proceeded back down into the great room.
There, she saw him sitting in his chair of the two second hand reading chairs. The one right next to hers. She just loved those chairs.
Nice walk, he asked. Beautiful, she said. Not as beautiful as you, he replied.
She grabbed a light blanket off the couch and sat down in the chair next to him. Making sure she was as cozy as possible with her glass of wine. He asked her what time they were going to go bed tonight...Stay Tuned for More!
soon enough...
© 2019 @ elusivelk